This week I have been using a range of language features to help make my writing more descriptive. Some language features we have been talking about are similes, metaphors, personification and onomatopoeia. Our class also used present tense and interesting hooks to get the reader to read our writing.
These are two of my favourite sentences from my writing this week
I can smell the most delicious grilled pork ribs from the outside even tho I was inside the mall (present tense)
Woooooohhhhh! As the ice freezing breeze whispered into my ear (interesting hook)
That all for today, bye.
Hi Jeremiah
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your sentences. You could change your sentence by removing the word 'as' and starting with The and describing the breeze as 'icy breeze' or 'sub zero winds' because ice freezing breeze doesn't quite fit into this sentence.
From Miss Fortes